Secrets
by itinerarymango
Summary: There's a reason Mark and Derek are still friends despite the betrayal. There's a secret in the past that neither of them have shared. They've hidden it, but secrets never stay hidden long at SGMW.
1. Chapter 1

**I know. I know. I said two or three weeks, but things happened and you know. That's how it goes with two small children. This is set in the "Turn and Turn Again" universe, but it happens about a year before that story, so obviously you don't need to read that story first. All you need to know is that Derek never went back to Addison and he and Meredith have two boys, Christopher and Jacob. If you haven't read one of my stories before, there are some things you should know: **

**I try to update weekly to the best of my ability**

**Any questions should be asked in the reviews and I will try to answer if I can**

**Feel free to share ideas with me, if I use them I will give a shout out in an AN**

**First part is a "missing scene" from the actual storyline. Basically it's the exact moment when Derek decides he still wants to be friends with Mark.**

_Mark knocked gently on the door of the trailer. He wasn't sure what else he could say to try to change Derek's mind, but he knew he had to try. Derek was his best friend, his brother, and he wasn't willing to give up on that part of his life. He heard the sound of shuffling from within and suddenly he was face to face with Derek._

"_You have a lot of nerve," Derek growled._

"_I just need to explain…or something…I can't lose you," Mark sighed, suddenly feeling unsure of himself._

"_You don't deserve a chance to explain. Just…forget you ever knew me," Derek spit._

"_I can't not be your friend," Mark said, "I know it doesn't count for much but I was hurting."_

"_That doesn't give you a reason to betray me," Derek sighed, knowing exactly what Mark was referring to._

"_I know…well I do now…but at the time I just wanted someone to need me. It wasn't about Addison…or you," Mark tried desperately to explain._

"_Damn it Mark. It doesn't matter. The sooner you can get that through your head the sooner we can forget each other ever existed," Derek said, but his voice was losing the fire it had previously held._

_The slight change in voice didn't go unnoticed by Mark and he decided he might be able to wear him down._

"_Does it even matter anymore? You met Meredith. You left Addison, but you can't forget about me anymore than I can ignore you. I'm not going away. Please, what is it going to take for you to forgive me...I've lost enough," Mark cried, his voice thick with emotion._

_Derek sighed and his hand reached up to grasp Mark's shoulder. Mark glanced up, his eyes locking with Derek's as he was steered toward a couple of chairs on the porch. He knew their relationship was by no means repaired but he hoped in time it would be._

Four years later…

"You are so not going to believe this," Derek said as he settled into the spot next to Mark on the catwalk, "this guy comes into the ER, massive hematoma, so I ask what happened. He says he fell, but I can clearly see some kind of excessive blunt force trauma. It didn't look like an accident. Long story short, ask me what his wife hit him with."

Mark stayed silent. His eyes locked on something below them.

"Hello? Earth to Mark. What are you even looking at?" Derek tired again, following his gaze to a figure below.

"Is that…?" Derek started.  
>"I'm not sure," Mark sighed after realizing Derek had spotted what he had.<p>

"Why would she be here?" Derek asked.

"I don't know?" he replied.

"Are you going to…?" Derek tried.

"I don't know," Mark said harshly before turning away abruptly and walking away.

He spent the rest of the day floating from surgery to surgery. When it was finally time to pick up Kennedy and head home he sighed in relief. His mind was drifting as he made his way to the hospital daycare to pick her up. He gave a quick hug to Christopher then found Kennedy standing up in a crib in the baby room. Picking her up, he gathered her stuff quickly before heading toward the elevator, hoping to make a quick getaway. He waited impatiently for the doors to open. Kennedy babbled in his ear and he smiled, temporarily forgetting about the thing that had weighed on his mind all day. A ding signaled that the cart had arrived at the floor, and his attention moved back to the doors. When they finally whooshed open, Mark gasped. If any doubt had been left in his mind about the identity of the person he had seen earlier, it disappeared. She looked exactly the same as he remembered. A little older of course and her dark hair was short now, but he would remember those eyes anywhere. They had haunted him for years. Pale blue-grey eyes that somehow managed to be warm and inviting even as the woman they belonged to was breaking his heart. He immediately turned to run in the other direction, but she stepped quickly forward and grasped his wrist to stop him.

"Don't," she said.

He stood still but didn't turn around.

"We can't run away every time we see each other. I didn't know you were here. Richard called, said he had a position available. He wanted me to come out here, get a feel for the place, but…I just wanted a change of scenery, I didn't know…" she trailed off.

Mark turned roughly, jerking his wrist from her hand roughly.

"Why the hell would you. You stopped having the right to know anything about me when you sent those papers in the mail," Mark spit.

"That's not fair. That relationship had ended a long time before that," she spit back.

Mark's hand moved up instinctively to clutch Kennedy to him, protecting her from the harsh words.

"And that was for you to decide? I guess I wasn't in the same relationship that you were" he practically screamed.

"Don't put this all on me. I didn't cheat on myself," she yelled back.

Mark looked dumbfounded.

"I never…not even once…" he said softly.

Derek suddenly emerged from the crowd of people that had gathered and positioned himself between them.

"Mark, go home." He ordered before addressing the woman, " hello Emily."

"Derek. I heard about you and Addison, it's a pity," she replied.

"Not really. How long are you going to be here," he asked coolly his eyes following Mark's retreating back.

"Richard offered me a job, but I'm only here for a two week trial right now. After that, I'm not sure," she answered.

"Do me a favor. Stay away from him," he said before turning and walking away.

**So fairly short chapter, but I was just trying to get the story started. I will say it time and time again, please review because they are an important part of the creative process and I love to read them.**


	2. Chapter 2

**What can I say…I was kidnapped by an evil traveling circus. Are you buying it? No…oh, well in all seriousness I was having writer's block/format problems and then we were at a family reunion thing, so I didn't get it posted. Please please please review when you are done, I promise they directly affect my posting speed…at least when there are no other extenuating circumstances.**

A couple of hours later, Derek was tugging on his jacket and practically running from his office. He pulled his phone from his jacket pocket and found his sister-in-law's number before placing it to his ear.

"Hello," came Lexie's worry laced reply.

"Is Mark there?" Derek asked bypassing a greeting.

"No. He left a half hour ago. I don't know where he went," she replied, her voice slightly bitter.

"He didn't tell you?" he gawked as he wove through the hallway traffic.

"No. Do you know what happened? He seemed upset. I left the hospital at noon and he was fine then," she explained.

"It's a long story, and it's not my story to tell, but I'm going to find him," he assured her before shoving the phone back in his pocket.

He was almost sure he knew where he was and the sooner he found him, the better.

He walked into Joe's and was immediately flagged down by none other than Joe himself.

"I assume you're looking for that," Joe said, jutting a finger at Mark.

He was slumped in a booth with a half empty scotch in his hand, seemingly deep in thought. Derek strode quickly to the table and slid silently across from him.

Mark's gaze rose, and Derek could see his eyes were already glassy with intoxication. They sat quietly before Mark gave a slight giggle and spoke.

"My ex-wife is in Seattle. I have to tell Lexie I was...I was married," he slurred out ending with yet another giggle.

Derek simply nodded, attempting to judge just how wasted Mark was.

"Do you know that I'm a cheater? Well actually I'm not, but Emily doesn't know that..." he said, this time his eyes fell and he was once again looking at the glass in his hand.

Derek gently pried the glass from his fingers and set it on the table.

"I know what you need, and it's definitely not to sit here drowning your troubles in scotch," Derek said as he slid from the booth.

He grabbed Mark's arm and guided him up from the booth and through the bar. With a quick nod to Joe, they exited and Derek began half dragging Mark back toward the hospital. He tried to stay as inconspicuous as possible, although with a partially intoxicated Mark behind him, it was slightly difficult. Luckily he happened to run into Owen who was on his way out. After a quick explanation and a text to Christina, he and Derek somehow managed to get Mark up to the roof quietly. They immediately dumped the golf balls and started hitting them in silence as Mark sat at the small folding table.

"I need to talk to Lexie," Mark said suddenly pulling his phone from his pocket.

Derek closed in on him, swiftly pulling the phone from his hand and depositing it safely in his own pocket.

"That is not a good idea. You're drunk and she's asleep. It's one in the morning," Derek scolded as he returned to hitting golf balls.

Once again silence surrounded them, interrupted only by the occasional THWACK that accompanied a swing. Gradually, Mark began to fill the silence. He mumbled quietly to himself as if he was working through something in his own head before finally addressing Derek.

"Why did she think I cheated?" he asked with genuine worry in his voice.

"Were you giving her signs?" Derek questioned.

"I don't think I was. I wasn't cheating. How could I have been giving her signs that I was?" Mark replied.

"Those last few months were rough, right?" Derek offered, trying to remember back to that time.

_Derek stepped through the doorway and took a seat across the desk from Mark._

"_Hey, I'm getting out of here. How much longer do you have?" he asked._

"_I need to figure out this case first," Mark answered throwing a patient chart on the desk and reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose in frustration._

_Derek picked up the chart and scanned it quickly before sighing and throwing it back on the desk. Mark had been obsessing over the case, a kid who had been disfigured in a dog attack, for days. . _

"_I didn't know you were still considering attempting that," Derek replied._

"_It's a four-year-old kid. I can't just say no," Mark sighed._

_In all honesty, he knew the surgery was going to be difficult. The poor kid had already been through multiple surgeries and several doctor's had already sent the family away stating that, what they had was the best they could expect. However, Mark refused to let them give up hope that their son might be able to look somewhat normal again._

"_I get it, but you can't stress yourself out about this. He's alive and he's healthy, all the ascetic stuff doesn't really matter," Derek said as he got up to leave, "just don't stay too late man."_

"It was that kid. I was obsessing over that case, spending night after night at my office rather than at home," Mark remembered, knowing that he may have been the one in the wrong.

"Did you explain to her what was going on?" Derek asked as he moved to the table to take a swig of beer.

"Yeah…well..errr…I think I did…I was just so in my own head…I honestly don't remember," Mark finally relented, his eyes falling to something in his hand.

Derek moved behind him and gazed down at the object, a picture of Mark, Lexie, and a tiny baby Kennedy at the hospital after her birth. It was his favorite and he had kept it in his wallet since the day he got it, pulling it out to look at every time he was upset.

"I know I have this now," he motioned toward the picture, "but I have kept that part of my past hidden for so long, I just don't know how I am supposed to explain what happened to Lexie when I'm not even sure myself."

Derek placed his hand on Mark's shoulder and Owen stopped to watch the two pseudo brothers.

"You tell her what you know. The rest of it doesn't matter," Derek said simply before moving back to his club and hitting yet another golf ball into the night.

**This is actually a two part chapter. It was originally just one long chapter that explored Mark and Emily's past and had the conversation with Lexie and Mark in it, but I decided to cut it into two slightly short chapters instead. The next chapter will have another flashback revealing Mark's side of the story and his talk with Lexie.**

**Also…I have started on the sequel to **_**Turn and Turn Again**_**, but I have no idea when I will post it. When I do I will reveal the title in an AN on this story, so be on the lookout.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay so...don't be mad. I was literally knocked on my ass by a move to a different state that my husband didn't feel the need to tell me about more than a month in advance. He said he'd spent the 2 months he knew before I did working out the logistics so I couldn't say no, but I still yelled at him :). Anyway, I unpacked the last and final box a couple of weeks ago and now that everything has settled down I can return to my writing. As far as the sequel to Turn and Turn Again my plan is to start it fresh in the new year. That should give me time to get a few chapters written before I actually start posting. I do have a title worked out though...drum roll please...it will be titled The Kids are Alright and will be set about a year after the close of TaTA...and now for the continuing saga of Secrets.**

Derek finally managed to get a slightly sobered Mark home at 4 am. Lexie opened the door, her eyes full of fire, but still she managed to help Derek drag Mark through the door and onto the couch.

"Lex. Come here for a second?" Derek asked motioning toward the door. Lexie nodded, following him toward the hallway just outside the apartment.

"Look," he started, rubbing his neck nervously, "he just needed to work some stuff out before he brought you into this...this…well...mess that Richard created. He's going to tell you what happened and just know, that guy he's telling you about, it's not the same Mark. He has never ever needed someone as bad as he needs you and Kennedy, so...I guess I can't tell you how to feel...but...give him the benefit of the doubt. Just don't be mad at him."

Lexie made a noise that sounded somewhere between a sigh and a sob.

"Where was he?" she finally asked.

"Joe's. Everything...well...it all had him reeling. He needed to work it all out. I just directed him to a better place to do that," Derek replied as he reached up to lightly squeeze Lexie's arm, "I better go, Mer needs to leave for work soon and I was keeping the boys today. I already called the chief, Mark is taking a sick day. I know you have the day off so maybe you can get this figured out."

It was a few hours later when Mark finally stirred from his position on the couch. His hands went to his head and he groaned audibly before noticing the bottle of water and the aspirin Lexie had laid on the coffee table.

"Thank god for Lexie," he murmured as he popped a couple of pills and downed a swig of water. When he was able to regain some amount of control over his body, he hoisted himself off the couch and went searching for her. He found her in the kitchen nursing a mug of coffee as she watched Kennedy grabbing banana slices clumsily between chubby fingers. He dropped a kiss to Kennedy's head and fell into the chair across from Lexie at the table.

"Hi," he greeted nervously.

"You need to start talking," she replied, her tone harsh, but her eyes holding a slight softness.

His hands drummed nervously on the table, and a tap tap tap sound broke through the silence.

"How much did Derek tell you?" he finally asked after seemingly unbundling the mess in his mind.

"Nothing. He said it wasn't his story to tell," she replied.

"Okay...I was married once," he started.

He spun the whole story leaving out nothing and stopping only once when Kennedy began to throw banana pieces on the floor. Lexie listened intently, her face never showing just what emotions she was feeling. When he was finally finished, she spoke.

"Why didn't you tell me about this?" she asked.

"I really don't have an answer to that question. I think on some level I was trying not to drudge up the past because I felt like my relationship with Derek couldn't take it, but that really doesn't explain why I didn't tell you. I guess...well...I'm not real proud of the way that relationship turned out and what it turned me into. I just wanted to be better for you," he answered, as he reached out to grab Lexie's hand and ran his thumb over the skin on the back.

"I'm not ready to just ignore this, but Derek told me something last night that is making it hard to be mad at you," Lexie sighed, staring at her hand clasped in Mark's.

"Derek? What did he say?" Mark asked, his eyes finding Lexie's.

"He said that you aren't that same guy. That was a different time in your life," she explained.

Suddenly Kennedy was screaming bloody murder and daggers began shooting through Mark's head. Lexie quickly scooped up the baby and scurried off to the next room giving Mark much needed relief. His head automatically dropped to his hands and he sighed loudly. He sat there unmoving for several minutes before Lexie appeared at his side with Kennedy propped in her hip.

"Get up. Get dressed. We're going for a walk," Lexie ordered.

He glanced up taking in Kennedy, now stripped of her banana covered onesie and dressed in one adorned with ducks. "I'm really not up for it Lex," he groaned as the drum beat in his bed picked up tempo.

"You decided to get drunk instead of talking to me last night, so you get to suffer through this today," she replied, her face twisting into an evil grin.

Mark stared at her in disbelief for only a moment before he stood and made his way to the bedroom to change his clothes. He emerged moments later in a pair of basket ball shorts and a hooded sweatshirt only a moment later and followed Lexie obediently as she made her way from the building and toward his SUV. He once again moved obediently as she ordered him to fetch the stroller and then watched as she deposited Kennedy in it.

"Okay where to?" he finally asked when she had finished.

"The park down the street. Kennedy likes to swing," she replied as she started in the direction she pointed.

Mark followed and after a short stroll, they came upon the park she had mentioned. Lexie pulled Kennedy from the stroller and placed her in the baby swing before motioning for Mark to push her. Lexie moved around in front of the baby and made a face as Kennedy moved toward her before pushing her back toward Mark.

"I want to know something," she said suddenly, catching Mark's attention.

"What do you want to know?" he asked a slightly worried look on his face.

"You told me what happened to end your marriage, but how did it begin?" she asked as she once again made a face at the baby between them.

"We met at school. She was in my Anatomy class and with Derek and Addison all hot and heavy I needed someone. She was there and then Derek proposed and it was the logical next step, so I did too," he replied running his hand through his hair nervously.

"What was she like?" Lexie asked after she had mulled over his answer.

"She was fiery. Stubborn. Had a temper that could knock me off my feet, but she was also passionate. She could always make me laugh, but from the day I met her I knew she would break my heart. She was just a girl who I happened to feel something for," Mark explained, trying to be honest, but also knowing what Lexie wanted to hear.

"Did you love her?" she finally asked the question that weighed on her mind.

"On some level, yeah, but it was like high school love. It was based in a physical attraction. It wasn't unconditional love and obviously it couldn't stand up to any bumps in the road," he answered, "I want you to know, I never felt even half of what I feel for you when I was with her. The way I love you, it's like I can't breathe when you're not by my side. I would do anything to make you happy."  
>Lexie couldn't help the slight smile that graced her lips. They continued to swing the baby in silence until the sky began to darken with approaching rain. Lexie scooped up Kennedy and placed her back in the stroller before they made their way back to the apartment.<p>

**Please, please review. It will let me know whether there is still some interest in this story. If there is a response I will try to have the next chapter up in no longer than a week.**


	4. Chapter 4

**So the last chapter got a whopping two reviews. I thought very seriously about stopping on this story, but I decided if there is at least two people who want to know what is going to happen, then I will continue it. I still want more reviews though, so if you're reading, click the button at the bottom and leave a couple words. They don't even have to be nice words. I like when people tell me things I can fix because it makes me a better writer. Here is the next chapter…please enjoy.**

Lexie burst through the door of Derek and Meredith's house without even knocking. She made her way into the kitchen and stopped suddenly when she came across Meredith and Derek making out against the kitchen counter.

"Really? Where are your kids?" she yelled as they broke apart with a start, both panting heavily.

"You don't live here anymore. You can't just come barging in. And our kids are in the other room watching a movie," Derek sighed as he moved away from Meredith.

"I need to talk to Mer," Lexie replied, watching as Meredith and Derek had a moment of silent communication.

"I'll be in the bathroom. Bathing the boys," he relented and disappeared.

"I assume this is about Mark," Meredith said as she moved to sit at the kitchen table.

Lexie joined her, her eyes falling on the paint sample cards and wallpaper samples spread on the table between them.

"You're picking out paint?" Lexie asked.

"The contractor says the house will be finished by the end of the week. Derek was so excited he decided he wanted to start tonight," Meredith answered, "but you aren't here to talk paint samples. Start talking."

"I saw her today," Lexie sighed, her head moving to rest in the palm of her hand.

"Emily?" Meredith confirmed.

Lexie simply nodded before continuing "she's gorgeous. Great hair, amazing body. She looks like a freaking supermodel."

"So…" Meredith prompted.

"So, I'm me. I still haven't lost all the weight I put on when I was pregnant with Kennedy," she started.

"I know that isn't true. I've seen your file. You're actually a couple of pounds lighter than before you got pregnant. I on the other hand have a 9 month old and absolutely no time to work on my baby weight. You should see my stomach right now," Meredith supplied.

"My hair is always a mess, I'm lucky if I can make it out of the house without baby puke on me, and Mark and I haven't had sex in a month," Lexie finished.

"Okay…your hair looks fine. At least it's nothing worse than puke. Once again, you're a surgical resident time is not on your side. Is that it," Meredith replied.

"How am I supposed to compete with her?" Lexie sighed.

"You aren't supposed to. I thought you were better, when we talked this morning you told me things were fine between you and Mark," Meredith tried.

"It's not Mark I'm worried about. She said something. I don't know. Maybe I'm reading too much into it," Lexie explained.

"What did she say?" Meredith prompted.

_Lexie stood at the nurses' station trying to finish a stack of paperwork. She was concentrating on a particularly difficult case when she felt a presence settle in beside her. Lexie assumed it was simply another doctor or a nurse and ignored them, but before long she felt the person turn toward her._

"_You're Lexie right?" the person asked.  
>"Yeah," Lexie replied without looking up from her paperwork.<em>

"_I guess you're not my biggest fan," the woman sighed, as she took a step in Lexie's direction, closing the distance between them slightly._

_Lexie's gaze finally shifted toward the woman at her side. She took in the woman's appearance, cursing inwardly as she took in the beautiful woman in front of her. Lexie knew who she was without ever having met her before, but she still needed to hear her actually confirm it._

"_And you are?" Lexie asked with a slightly biting tone._

"_Emily Pinson," the woman replied, "I guess you only know me as "that bitch that broke Mark's heart' or what is that other thing Derek has been calling me? 'McBitch'?"_

_Lexie stood silently, trying to decide whether she should run, or stay there and deal with the awkwardness. She was just about to excuse herself when the woman spoke again._

"_I'm really not a bad person. I had my reasons for leaving things the way I did, but even I wonder if maybe I did the wrong thing. When we were dating, Mark was such a gentleman. I think that's the reason I fell in love with him in the first place. I guess I never really stopped loving him. It was just easier to leave all that behind and move on. I was never really good a moving on either though. That's probably why I am my age and still single," Emily rambled._

_Lexie stared at her in disbelief._

"_Look. We aren't going to do this. Just because you were with Mark and I am with Mark, we aren't going to compare notes. I actually wouldn't mind never talking to you," Lexie spit before turning on her heels and rushing away._

"I'm reading too much into it right. She was just caught up in the memories. She's not really in love with him still," Lexie practically begged Meredith for confirmation.

"Yeah, it was probably nothing," Meredith replied, barely able to hide her apprehension behind a smile.

"Okay. I just…I needed to talk to someone that wasn't a 15 months old," Lexie said as she stood and moved toward the front door.

"Bye Lexie," Meredith called as she disappeared around the corner.

Meredith climbed the stairs slowly and found Derek still in the bathroom. He was carefully rinsing Jacob's body as Christopher ran a car along the edge of the tub.

"So we have a problem," Meredith said as she dropped onto the toilet seat next to the tub.

"What kind of problem?" Derek asked as he lifted Jake from his tub seat.

"Emily wants Mark back," she answered as she grabbed a towel from the rack beside her and wrapped up the baby.

"What makes you say that? I know she's a b…" he started before Meredith cut him off with a glare and a pointed look at Christopher, "uh…meany, but I thought she was just here for the job."

"She told Lexie she still loved him. Said she thinks sometimes maybe she did the wrong thing," Meredith explained.

"Maybe it was just a thought. It doesn't mean she is definitely going to act on it," Derek tried reaching to pull Christopher from the water.

"I thought so too, but there is something about the way she approached Lexie," Meredith replied, "it reminds me of when Addison came to try to win you back. She had a certain air of confidence when she talked to me."

"Okay, but if we are going by Addison, obviously that tactic didn't work. I divorced her and stayed with you," Derek replied, slightly perturbed by the mention of his ex-wife.

"I know. I'm just thinking. You would have wanted to know that Addison was trying to get to you, right? Maybe we should tell Mark what is coming for him," Meredith said as they each dressed a boy.

"Yeah. I guess I would've liked someone to tell me she was on her way out here, even if it was just so that I could have warned you. I'll talk to Mark tomorrow. Let him know that I am worried about him," Derek relented as they separated to put the boys to bed.

**I have a feeling I worried some people with this chapter. All I can say is "keep calm and push that review button," because the more you blow up my email, the faster I upload the next installment, and the faster you find out what is going to happen.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Soooooooo sorry. I absolutely loved reviews blowing up my inbox. I got the response I was looking for to post early, but we were having some problems with our 18-month-old and a particularly stubborn sinus infection. So any who, without further ado…chapter 5.**

Mark zipped Kennedy's jacket tighter against the slight chill in the air and pulled her from the car seat. He settled her on his hip before reaching for his diaper back-pack. Lexie had laughed at the idea, but Mark insisted he had a reputation to uphold and her frilly pink diaper bag would never be seen with him. He walked across the parking lot quickly, trying to keep Kennedy out of the cold. When he had made it inside, he glanced around the restaurant, his eyes finally settling on Derek at a booth in the corner. Mark crossed the room, and fell into the seat beside Christopher. He set Kennedy in the high chair at the end of the table and looked at Derek who was trying to carefully pull a bottle from a sleeping Jacob, in the carrier beside him.

"You look like you're trying to diffuse a bomb," Mark said with a grin.

"Shut-up. If I don't time this just right he wakes up, but if I don't take the bottle out he drools formula all over himself. It's a very delicate operation," Derek hissed.

Mark watched as Derek swiftly pulled the bottle from the baby's mouth, chuckling as Derek breathed a sigh of relief when the baby's lips moved a couple more times then stopped.

"Alright why did you insist we go to lunch?" Mark asked as he perused his menu.

"Do I have to have a reason to eat with my oldest friend/brother-in-law?" Derek feigned innocence.

"Let's see, last time you wanted to 'do lunch' you tried to pawn off the demons on Lexie and me so that you and Meredith could go 'christen' your half finished house. The time before that you wanted to tell me Mer was pregnant again, and before that it was because Lexie and Mer ganged up on you to, in their words, get me off my ass and back in the OR when...well...we don't talk about that anymore," Mark explained.

"I'm offended that you think so little of my intentions," Derek scoffed.

Just then the waitress walked up and interrupted their conversation. After they had ordered, Christopher announced loudly that he "had to potty" and Derek disappeared to the bathroom. When he had finally reappeared, the food was on the table and Mark was spooning pieces of his pasta into a bowl for Kennedy. Derek reached over to cut Christopher's spaghetti.

"What took you so long?" Mark asked as he took a bite of his food.

"When you start potty training you'll understand," Derek sighed.

A comfortable silence settled over the table, only broken by the random gibberish from Christopher or Kennedy. Finally, Derek relented and told Mark why he had suggested they go eat.

"I really did have a motive behind this," he spoke motioning to their surroundings.

"I thought so," Mark shrugged placing his fork on his plate and wiping his hands with his napkin.

"I'm worried about you man. You and Lexie. Plus dealing with Kennedy. And Emily being here," Derek explained trailing off before he revealed what Meredith had told him.

"Dude, I'm glad you're thinking of me, but I'm fine. Me and Lex are fine.

Kennedy is fine," Mark replied.

"There's something else. Mer told me...well...err...I guess she has a feeling. She thinks Emily might have realized her mistake. She feels like maybe Emily is going to try to win you back," Derek said.

"Huh. Well, if that's the case she is in for a rude awakening. I'm with Lexie. I'm happy. I'm not going to throw my family away for someone I don't think I really ever loved," Mark brushed it off, picking up his fork once again.

"Okay. I was just letting you know. If you aren't worried then I'm not," Derek said also resuming eating.

When they had finished eating, Derek paid the check and they got up, gathering the kids. They walked together to the door and paused when they had made it outside.

"What do you have going on today?" Mark asked as he readjusted Kennedy on his hip.

"Nothing. Just hanging out with the boys," Derek replied as he juggled both boys and a diaper bag.

"I just bought that new movie with Bruce Willis. The one with the police and the mafia. How about it? The kids can nap and we can watch manly movies," Mark suggested his voice dropping an octave to emphasize the word manly.

Chris quickly interrupted, shaking his head vehemently and shouting, "no nap."

"Oh yes nap," Derek argued then turned his attention back to Mark, "sure. I'll follow you there."

They moved to their respective vehicles and made their way toward Mark and Lexie's apartment. Derek immediately pulled out his phone and dialed Meredith's number.

"How'd it go?" she asked, bypassing a greeting.

"He was calm about the whole thing. Said, if it was true, she was wasting her time because he's in love with Lexie," Derek replied.

"Okay. Good," Meredith said quietly. "Uh...Lexie's here now. We're going to go grab a bite from the cafeteria," she added hoping he would understand the fact that their current topic had to end.

"Yeah. Got ya. We're headed over to Mark's, I'll see you when you get off," Derek responded.

"Bye, I love you," she said before he heard the click of the phone, signaling her hanging up.

They continued on their way to the apartment, Derek feeling much better about the situation they were in.

Meanwhile in Mark's SUV, Mark was deep in thought.

"This is going to be bad," he finally said out loud to himself.

Kennedy screeched from her car seat behind him and Mark smiled slightly.

"Kennedy. I love you and mommy so much," he called back to her.

She screeched again at the sound of her father's voice.

"I don't know how I am going to keep this from screwing up my life, but I am going to make damn sure it doesn't because you and mommy are the most important things in my life," he added, even though he felt slightly ridiculous having the conversation with a 15-month-old.

He glanced back at the baby in the rearview mirror and smiled when he noticed her staring intently at the back of his seat. She looked like she was considering what he had said very carefully. Mark's eyes moved back to the road and he relaxed slightly. He was looking forward to sitting on the couch drinking a beer and watching an action movie. He loved having time with Kennedy when he was off, but every now and then he still liked to be with the boys.

**Okay lovelies...what'd you think? The ending was a little awkward I think, but I was at a loss with how to end it. I promise, this Emily situation is not going to be solved easily. There is some drama to come. Stay tuned and as always review.**


	6. Chapter 6

**I looked back at that last chapter and realized something. I thought I told you in the AN on the last chapter that I wouldn't be updating again until after the holidays, but apparently I didn't, so I'm sorry. The sequel to Turn and Turn Again will hit the site next week, probably Friday but maybe Thursday, I'm just tweaking it a bit before I post it. It will be titled The Kids are Alright and you should really check it out…and here is the next chapter to Secrets.**

Emily Pinson slid the key card through the lock on the door before pushing it open and entering the hotel suite. She shut the door behind her, taking the time to slide chain into the lock before walking through the living room area and into the bedroom. She fell onto the bed, pulling the heels off of her feet and sighing as the pain that had crept into her feet throughout the day began to subside. She glanced at the clock on the bed side table noting that it was just after 9pm before returning to the living area of the suite. She folded herself onto the couch, pulling a blanket around her knees and grabbing a picture album off the table. Flipping open the cover, she settled back, allowing herself to be immersed in the memories on the pages in front of her.

_She hadn't necessarily been ready to date again. Not after the serious relationship she had just gotten out of, but Mark was sweet and he didn't really seem like the serious type, so she was willing to make an exception. She had thrown her long hair into a low side ponytail and clipped a cute barrette on the side before slipping into a yellow sundress and a pair of sandals. Casual he had said. Nothing fancy, just a barbeque with his friends, and she hoped she looked alright. A knock at the front door pulled her from her thoughts and her ears strained to hear the conversation that was taking place in the entryway._

"_She's almost ready I think," her roommate Jenny was saying, "let me go check."_

_She could hear the sound of footsteps getting closer before Jenny burst through the door and closed it quickly behind her._

"_You weren't lying. He is hot," Jenny whispered conspiratorially. _

"_I know," Emily smiled smoothing her dress once again._

_She began to move toward the door, but Jenny grabbed her wrist holding her back._

"_Wait. Let him wait for a minute, don't want to seem too eager," Jenny ordered._

_Emily giggled, freeing her wrist from Jenny grasp and placing her hand on the doorknob. She exited the room, moving as quietly as possible down the hall and glancing into the entryway. He stood by the door, staring at the ceiling. He looked good, clad in a t-shirt and a pair of jeans. When she had finally worked up the nerve to make her entrance, she moved quickly toward him._

"_Oh, hi. Are you ready?" he asked._

"_Yeah, I think so," she replied, "just let me grab my bag."_

_She moved to the kitchen table, slinging her bag onto her shoulder and reappearing in front of him. The drive to his house was pleasant. The conversation flowed easily and before long they were pulling up out front of a house where several cars were already parked._

"_We're here," he said, turning the engine off and opening his door._

"_Wow, I didn't know you actually lived in a house, I figured it was an apartment or I don't know something," she rambled._

"_I live here with a couple of my friends, daddy still hopes he can buy his way into my life," Mark replied, placing his hand on the small of her back as he led her to the door. He opened the door and led her through the house to the backyard where several people were gathered._

"_Okay. Over there at the table are Savvy, Addison, and Naomi; and over there at the grill are Derek and Sam. And those three out there attempting to play football are Weiss, Justin, and Eric. Somewhere around here is Justin's better half," Mark introduced. "Where is Laura?"he directed at Addison._

"_I think she was in the house," Addison replied, getting up to greet the new guest, "so Emily right?"_

"_Yeah," she confirmed._

_Addison looped her arm through Emily's before leading her toward the table of girls._

_Mark moved toward the grill, grabbing a bottle of beer from a cooler close by before clapping Sam on the back._

"_So how'd you meet Mark?" Addison asked after they had sat down at the table._

"_Uh, we ran into each other at Flannigan's," Emily explained, referring to the bar that many of the college students frequented._

"_So, how long have you known each other?" she questioned._

"_We've been on a couple dates," Emily replied._

_The rest of the barbeque went by in a flurry of activity and when Mark was finally ready to take her home, she found herself committing to a lunch date with the ladies the next weekend._

"_So, they seemed to like you," Mark noted._

"_Yeah, your friends are really nice," she replied._

Emily ran her finger across the picture. She stood next to Mark in that yellow sundress. He held a beer in his hand and she had a nervous smile on her face. Laura had given her the picture on that lunch date. Telling her she thought it was a cute picture of them. Looking back at that day, she couldn't believe that her relationship with Mark had gone as far as it did. She had promised herself that she wasn't going to fall for the hottie with the slight ego and unbelievable eyes, but she had broken that promise. She turned the page and was caught up in yet another memory.

_Mark was sprawled on the bed in his grey button-up and black slacks. Emily was in front of her closet mirror, trying on yet another dress._

"_Okay, what about this one?" she asked motioning toward the dress._

"_I like it. Can we please go now?" he groaned._

"_Come on. Don't you want your girlfriend to look hot?" she chuckled._

"_You always look hot, but we were supposed to be at Derek and Addison's engagement dinner with the family 20 minutes ago, and mom might kill me if I'm late," he whined._

"_Okay, okay. I'm ready," Emily sighed, adjusting a curl in the mirror._

_They made it to the restaurant just as Mama Shepherd was directing the family to their seats and slipped into their seats at the table next to Derek and Addison._

"_Alright, I wanted you all here to welcome Addison to the family. For a long time, I hoped my boys would find women that would settle them down. I had all but given up on Mark before he found Emily," Mrs. Shepherd started, as a collective chuckle rose from the table, "as far as Derek is concerned, I can see how very happy you make him Addison, and I hope you have many happy years."_

_Emily felt Mark's hand move around her chair and she leaned subconsciously into him. The night was spent talking about wedding plans and they were soon walking hand in hand from the restaurant. They drove to her apartment and walked inside. She followed her to her bedroom and collapsed on the bed as she moved to the bathroom to change clothes._

"_So, your best friend is getting married. Is it freaking you out?" she called to him._

"_He more than my best friend. He's more like my brother," he corrected then added, "I think I knew he would get married first. He was always the more mature one. It just sucks to be losing my brother though."_

_Emily moved to the bed grabbing the remote and switching on the television before curling into his side._

"_I think it's cute that you and Derek are so close," she muttered before reaching up to place a kiss to his lips._

She sighed. The picture of them at the engagement dinner was one of her favorites. She was leaning across him talking to Addison and he was looking at her in pure amusement. That was the night when she had first realized that there was more to him than just the ego. It was also the night she had realized that she was falling hard for her rebound guy. She turned to the next page and a tear rolled down her face as her eyes settled on the next picture.

**This is a three part series. I am going to continue on with this format, highlighting some key moments in their relationship, through Emily's eyes. Reviews are much appreciated. I may not update this story next week. It depends on how much work I still need to do on my other story, so be patient.**


	7. Chapter 7

**It's short again, but I did say it was one super long chapter divided in two. These are the last flashbacks that I have planned and there probably won't be any more unless absolutely necessary. I keep getting asked whether I am going to put Mark with Emily and if you read my other stories you should know the answer to that. This story is a prequel of sorts. So…there is your answer. Look who he is with, in the other ones. That being said just because the ending has already been determined, doesn't mean the journey there isn't going to be fun, so keep on reading and reviewing.**

She smiled through her tears at the picture of Mark in front of her on one knee. He had proposed in the park during a picnic. The sun had been shining brightly and she remembered that she had been angry because Mark had been late to pick her up. She had been trying to give him the silent treatment, but had been failing miserably because he was so damn charming. She had just scooted out of his reach, doing her best impression of a pouty 3-year-old. Suddenly he had stood and she had thought he had had enough and was going to leave, but then he had dropped to one knee in front of her. Derek had been hiding to take a picture of the exact moment he proposed and the picture showed her in mid leap into his arms. Once again she flipped the page of the album, but this time, she sobbed loudly at what she saw. The next picture was perhaps the hardest for her to look at without breaking down. Their wedding day had been so filled with joy. She had been so nervous, but as soon as she had seen Mark standing at the end of that aisle all the nervousness had melted away.

_She had watched everyone start down the aisle in front of her, but her feet felt like they were stuck to the floor. Her eyes had roamed briefly across the room, anxiously awaiting her walk, but her eyes searched _for only one face. Mark stood at the front of the church, Derek by his side and a smirk on his face. She gasped despite herself and suddenly the butterflies _that had been building were gone._ _Her feet seemed to move of their own accord and she was beside Mark in no time at all. The vows had been long and drawn out, but when they had walked back down the aisle, she had beamed with unabashed happiness. _

"_Are you okay?" Mark asked when they had made it to the limo and she hadn't said a word._

"_Yeah, I'm just giddy," she giggled slightly, feeling like she was lighter than air._

"_Me too," he replied, "I wish we could skip the reception and start the fun part early."_

_She laughed now, a deep laugh that raked through her whole body before settling itself in the air around them._

"_We have to go to the reception," she sighed._

"_Derek'll cover for us. He'll tell them the limo broke down or something. All it'll take is one page," Mark argued._

"_We can't do that. Everyone will know," she chastised, leaning in to place a kiss to his lips._

_They had continued to banter until they had arrived at the reception. The happy feeling had continued throughout the day and into the night. That night as she lay unable to sleep in the bed with Mark, she had thought back on their relationship. She was amazed that the relationship that had started out as something fun to get over a crappy guy and had turned into something amazing._

Emily sighed. She slammed the book shut and stood from the couch. The tears were flowing freely now and she brushed them away angrily. She paced the floor for a moment before walking back into the bedroom and retrieving her phone from the bedside table. Her fingers were dialing before she was even sure what she was doing and she placed the phone to her ear.

"Seattle Grace this is Kristin how can I help you?" the overnight receptionist at the hospital's main desk answered.

"Hello. I'm Dr. Pinson. I was wondering if you could give me Dr. Sloan's cell number. I need to consult with him on one of patients, but I just realized I didn't have his number," she answered, trying to keep her voice even despite the fact that she was upset.

"Give me a minute. I need to get the directory from the back, I'm going to put you on hold," the receptionist replied before waiting music filled her ear.

It was only a moment before the receptionist was back and Emily had written down the number. She bid the receptionist good night before hanging up the phone. She resumed her pacing, dialing the number again and again before abruptly hanging up before anyone could answer.

"Come on Emily. Pull yourself together," she scolded herself before once again redialing the number.

This time she listened intently as the phone rang. Just when she thought no one was going to answer, she heard a voice.

"Hello," Mark greeted.

"Hi. Ummm…it's me," Emily replied.

**So I left this story on a cliffhanger too. See I told you here comes the drama. Review. Review. Review.**


End file.
